contradiction

There's these two sayings:

"Time will heal everything"
and
"Absence makes the heart grow founder"

They contradict each other totally what! [>.<] I personally think time does not heal at all. It will only lighten the memory BUT. The scar will forever be there. Once you break a glass, no matter how you piece it back, there's those ugly scars! And yeah, I want you more than anything else when I don't see you, yet there's this scar where you had slit across my heart long ago.

Recent happenings only kept me further from having that little dream. It was just only sooo hard and recent that I had finally managed to walk out of that little nightmare I've been having
Just a few steps away and things got out of hand and became worse.

What have I been doing? Tsk! I guess nothing's meant to be. Feelings are just sooo hard to capture and be understood. They change the moment you let loose of it
Afterall, they are the ones in charge. Struggling with them will only make it all seems useless and ridiculous.

After all these while, I still dreams of you and the times we were together. Looking at the familar place where I spent the happiest moments in it. Everytime I drive round it without fail. The head seems to know where it's heading.

When the heart got a little out of place from the scar
All I did was to compare..compare compare compare
I can never find a better reason to put you in the better place
Though the new feeling came, replaced the old and buried it deep down the heart
I can never seem to not be telling myself it's all over

It was not in a situation where the whole thing can be repeated
Yet, there's just this *wo fang bu xia* urgh everytime
Rumaging through the things which should have been thrown years ago
Just reminds me of the sweet little times

All that you've ever done when we a part of each other
Were clearly engraved in my heart
Though I can barely remember how you looks like
A faint little look just appear everytime the dreams return now
And your faint little voice just start filling all my ear drum with oil~~

Almost in the 3rd year now, yet it all seemed like it happened yesterday
Your exact words, on that rooftop garden in the familar warmth hug you gave
the time, the clothes you were wearing, the perfume you ever like so much
the kiss you touched on my lips when it seemed like the perfect moment
the band concerts which we always go together
the way we tried to hide from everyone yet got exposed in the end secret
they way you wrote those letters to me the way you always have a way to soothe me down when we quarrlled or I'm just in one-of-those-moods days
the way I'm motivated to get good grades cause of you

If there ever's this one day where i'm given a wish to either go to my future,
or return to the past.
I will definately choose to return to that particular day and time
and go through it all over again

Well, speaking of which, I just woke up from a dream which I really did go back into time. I saw the familar place and the familar faces where we once *battled* with almost everyone for our unique relationship. The ever once encouraging person who supports us till the end telling us not to give up and there, we were back once again.

I wish I had studied extra doubly-doubly times hard and forced myself to go to the same place as you did and everything would not have been into what I am at now. I should have chosen business course instead of trying to even try to get into a course like this. Or at least just control myself, for most of the times. At least I will have less issues with people now.

Damn, I am not what you people know.

in another world (:

((:

I miss my hair I miss I miss
*whines whines whines*
:/ I learned my ways
Shall never ever ever cut it away again! x/
even if the urge is there!

Chai Hui just left my house, like a few minutes ago
I wonder how she can keep her cool when teaching my lil sis
:/ I'm still amazed at how fast the education system is progressing

At secondary one, they are already learning about haemoglobin???
HEELLOOO~ I only know what's that all about in secondary THREE
and that's when I started my Food and Nutrition subject! (not science)

OMG. Or maybe I did not pay attention in secondary one and two?
HAHA! Can't be. I clearly remember I saw that word first in my F&N book!
Anyway, they are progressing toooo fast I conclude. heh~ :/
(that was my personal opinions by the way)

My life now is as messy as my laptop
BOO! Edna CXX, reformat for me quick
:D I can't stand it's slownesssssssss

I always thought I'm the happy-go-lucky kind of girl
who forever has a smile on her face everytime people look at her
I always thought I am

Yet, recently everyone around me kept asking me "what's wrong" bla bla bla
And I find it unreasonably hard to put that curve up across my face
They said to just take it as it is and appreciate whatever is given out

I know it clearly myself
that things should never be dragged for too long
Cause once it do, it will get out of hand

And right now, I think it has already gotten out of hand
Far tooo much for me to bear anymore :/
It was always me listening to others giving advices
like I'm some kind of a problem-solver specialist

Where's the old juliana?
I needa find myself back :D
All else doesn't matter actually

Isn't it because of my optimisim
that Mr Kevin Roberts chose me for being NYP representative in the ISPE student chapter?
He had clearly told me that it IS cause of that right?
So why am I being such a disappointment now?

I'm always the *juliana* when I'm in swiss
I wana be the *juliana* now in another environment too!
Not change :/
It's not that hard I presume

I see life in a very different way I guess

:D Spiderman 3's out already!
But from what I see, a lot a lot of people have already booked seats
So won't have any nice seats left if I were to go buy that day right?
Hmm..Yea. Even bro says "no need to think also know" :/

So typical of us singaporean laaa
Hahah... Can't wait to catch this show
:D wheee~~~

看着时间　别让它再流浪
从前我　太适应悲伤
你的出现在无意中　却深深撼动我
一起走着　没说什么　心是满足的

这个世界　随时都要崩塌
我没有　其他的愿望
假如明天将消失了　趁现在我爱着
只想记得　被你抱着　温热的感受

Love Beautiful So Beautiful
我失去过　更珍惜拥有
多庆幸我是我　被你疼爱的我
紧紧牵住的手　不要放手　永远守护我

Love beautiful So Beautiful
我很快乐　你会了解我
我不会再哭泣　是因为我相信
我们勇敢的爱着　每秒钟
都能证明　一生的美丽

这个世界　随时都要崩塌
我没有　其他的愿望
假如明天将消失了　趁现在我爱着
只想记得　被你抱着　温热的感受

Love Beautiful So Beautiful
我失去过　更珍惜拥有
多庆幸我是我　被你疼爱的我
紧紧牵住的手　不要放手　永远守护我

Love Beautiful So Beautiful
我失去过　更珍惜拥有
多庆幸我是我　被你疼爱的我
紧紧牵住的手　不要放手　永远守护我

Love Beautiful So Beautiful
我很快乐　你会了解我
我不会再哭泣　是因为我相信
我们勇敢的爱着　每秒钟
都能证明　一生的美丽

Love's Beautiful So Beautiful

the courage to live on(:

1 litre of tears.
what a touching story(:

but well, i guess i am just not like any normal girls..
ESP EDNA CHAN XIUXIANG... xP
i only teared when i watched the last 2 episodes of the show.
and in the middle of episode 6 when ako-chan is repriminding the brother.

that's all.
maybe it's cause i didn't watch all at once?
and some distractions in between also.
haha. whatever, this is based on true story.

she died in the year i was born.
how i admired her courage to live on in life.
as if it were to happen to me..
i think i would just jump on the train track!
=/ okayy. but i definately won't have her courage.
for that i salute her! xD

well, go watch it bah!
youtube have it! ((:
okayy.. enough of that.

actually how does the whole blogging thing works?
i do not know how to carry on from there.
=/ after typing on it for more than many years..
i suddenly realised i do not know how to blog at all.

hah! what a great entry.
AM talking to edna now nah..
and was being lame all the while.
haha! am i always like this? =/

ooh..
the last time i went shopping with chai hui
i accidentally blurt out things i should not have said.
haha! and she had been bugging me for answer.. -.-"

nono....there won't be an answer from me.
wahahah~~~~~ -.-"

and we girls had some lame things going on again nah..
with shits and mosquitoes.. LOL
it's true that playing and joking around with it is alright.
but don't go too far alright(:

well, but i am not sure of how this feeling came about.
let's just say..... fate(:

anyway, went for mani and padi curing yesterday with sis.
well, wasn't well done!
and i destroyed the toe nailed one
it hasn't dried and i forgot about it.
being the usual "violent" me.
i just smudged it.. -.-"

going back tomorrow to re-polish it.
will there be any charges? hope not. =/
then meeting with darling to do more painting.. LOL
shall buy a few designs to have more creations. hehe.. xD

(: well, cny's in exactly 7 days' time.
clothes ready, shoes ready
nails not, hair not!
ergh~~ i wana cut my hair..
any nice recommendations?
cut cut cut!

o.O
i am losing interst in working for them already
esp since shen yi and edna quitted theirs..
well, maybe shall quit after this last week.

and well, maybe won't be going on vacation with them bah.. ):
i simply have to think properly.
can't be spending my savings any-o-how-ly le.
if i go for this month vacation,
i really wont be able to provide for my driving lessons.
and well, travelling can be done some other times..
we still have many years of friendship building(:

they won't abandon me just cause i did not go this time right? =/
maybe they will...be secretly happy. -.-"
well, guess nah..

like i said in the past,
pessimistive grows in me... sad.
okok.

well, everyone lives for a purpose..
is that true?
i know of people who just live for the sake that their time is just not up yet.
i know pf people who lives cause deaths do not want them.
o.O are those two points the same?
but yeah. i do not know what am i actually living for.

humans are the only greedy creatures...who want to live longer?
then why is it that turtles live longer than us? =/
isn't that true??
why are they the ones living till hundreds over years old and us?
bet right now, u wana punch me?
hahahaah.... =/

aiya. byebye

the best team mates! xD
LOVES(:

the 5 of us. darlings~ xD

CP0606! finally a proper photo(:

my bro and me! xD *wheee*

MR Yow. hahaha... =/

FRENCH! wheee~~~ let's made the germans and japs jealous! xD wahahahaha..... =/

some photos of the presentation day! xD
hahahah....
another module down.
how great.
wana seee more???
click here(:

had the cep yesterday.
mr dennis warned me to work hard. =/
told me straight..
damn. sad at that nah.

chin last minute got irvin to ask me to work today.
abit stunned..
cause why ask irvin?
when he can ask me himself ar... -.-"
well, didn't do well today nah..
still thinking whether should i work till end of this feb or what... )):

wow. how long haven't i been updating?
it seems like i have alot to say...
but i forgot. )):

well, talk about yesterday then..
after cep tutorial...
my dear ms chai hui wanted to eat.
haha....thought of letting her be nearer to her sis house..
we went bishan to eat ljs..
and that girl.......wanted to play with the scratch card...
upsized her meal! haha...
but got a free coleslaw also nah.. haha...

and you know what?
hahaha.. we went bro's house in the end...
to watch..........alot of shows~~ haha..
re-watched 13 going on 30..
hehe...still find it damn nice nah... xD

watched till 10pm..and we finally decided to go home.
hahaa....i wonder how late she reach home...
and i took a blank dvd from bro! hehe.. ((:

on the way home...mind was going through alot of things...
seriously had a lot of things to say....
but just do not know how to type it in words.... =/
hahahha....
shall wait till i can find how to type it in words.

au bientot! ((:

o.O

update update.
good good.

haha!
my working partner may be gone in a month's time.
maybe i should consider changing job soon too...
or stop working for awhile.. =/

eeeeww.
think about studies first.
let's see...
french CT tomorrow.
sem proj presentation on thursday.
CEP test on friday.

great.
i'm gona fail bah.. =/
and guess what?
i already failed last week IPC..
was it last week?

but i was sick like a ......
what do you use to describe a person who's dying from sicknesss??? =/
hahaha... anyway, yup.
and i did not went to for the tutorial before the test..
lectures too bah... forgotten.
luckily the overall still can be saved.
now...only hope that the exams.....can pull it up to B??? =/
i doubt so nah.. haish... sadz....

anymore things?
hmmm.....
i wan new things? LOL
which girl doesn't want new things ar.... -.-"

that was my yesterday's post.... =/ wahahah!!
had no time to post it nah!! LOL

okayy...
so what happened today??

alot alot also.... T.T
well, celebrated birthdays for edgar and kris..
then......hmmm...

had french CT!!!! =/
i'm so dead nah...... LOL
seriously dead.... wahaahha....
then why am i laughing??? -.-"

well, we had mr kevin roberts to help us with a *suprise* for our sem proj presentation tomorrow..... hahaha....
i sooooo can't wait for tomorrow's presentation nah okayyy~~ xD

shan't comment on it yet nah.
next up's band new-exco meeting with han..
i really don't wana be in it cannn???
i hate it nah... T.T
BOOOOO!!!!!!!!

im really frustrated over it nah....
cry cry cry cry tilll death......... X/

haish.... and huimin isn't helping me to get out of the comm!!!
i loookk sooo weird in it cannnnn?
))):

i don't belong there in the first place.. )):

***stop whining***

shall move on to happier things...
but just cannot type it out here.... -.-"
sooo bye~

au bientot! ^-^

sad sad sad

)):
alot of things happened just within these two days.
-.-"

well, at least one module's down! xD finally.
had the comm skills CT today.
it's the 1st time! lol..
i finished the paper way earlier then others..
and im the first girl to be outta that LT!!
wahaha... *haha6*

i shall say the paper's easy.
not damn easy kind.
but easy IF you studied. xD

well, i did NOT study for the paper nah..
but the revision tutorial in the morning helps.. xD
luckily, the tutorial is on the CT day itself.
so yup. it kinda helped... hehehe.. *phew*

okae..then, hmm...
had a little *conflict* with one of the clique.
): sad. but i couldn't just take it lying down.
alot of things happened nah...
noting it down will just spoil my mood for blogging. =/
therefore, i shall just keep quiet about it.
but i really think just letting it be like that, it's a waste.
afterall, like what bro said, we still have 2 years to go... -.-"

hmm, okae..
what next..ooooooh!
open house tomorrow... -.-"
getting sian nah....
isn't the event that sian-ed me..
but the overall processsss of it..
hahahha....
certain things really cannot be said here nah...
just have this -> [-Quit]
((: a member of the clan!! hahahahaha....

oooh... talking about this, i have to call my four helpers....
to inform them about tomorrow..
hahahha~~ will i get any freee sponsors??? LOL! =/

okok... anyone of you wana come for the OH, call me arrr! hahaha...
i may be able to just meet up and chat with you nah.. ((:

OOOhHHH~~!!! o.O
hahahha!! okay.. did i tell you guys i served steven lim last friday????
wahahaha.... he came by cheers and bought things nah~~~
i was the cashier for that day ar...
he's like wearing UNDERsized BoXER!!
*lmao* =/
okae.. i was only trying to make fun nah..
i know seeing him is like a norm for many... LOL
=/ whooopppssss!

the cough's still here nah..
i don't want it here for 2 months!!!
*gasp & runs away*
)): cure me cure me...
i don't wana be sick~~~~~~~~
BOOOOOO!!!

one week

didn't go to school today. =/
not because i don't want to.
but because the headache's back.
hmmm..so as not to aggravate it..
for just like... 2 hours of math and IPC.
which is like from 8am-10am..
i stayed home.

and yay!
now i'm feeling sooo much better already!
not so sick anymore..
all's left are the cough and flu.. -.-
one week... exactly.
how long can this illness be man..
hahha... wasted one whole week of my time.

i don't know what i was doing the whole of last week nah.
just that i spent the most of my time...
in bed sleeping and popping pills in the kitchen..
i felt so disgusted by the sight of pills now. =/

after i fully woke up..
realised that other than the 2 hours of lessons,
i have like... PAL roadshow, supposedly meeting with jenette
and more? whatever... there's training tomorrow also.
aiya! basically, i missed out on a lot of things last week and today. -.-
how great nah. *frustrated*

well, ipc's tomorrow.
hmm.. comm skills' wednesday
lucky cep's postponed to next week.
which reminds me....
sem proj's presentation's next week too..

***
talking about sem proj.
i feel so sad and guilty nah.
haven't been contributing anything at all.
and great. i don't understand what the topic is nah.
come to think of it, almost every team work..
do not have any of my work at all.

now you know why i keep wanting to change course?
it doesn't help that i tried to do this and that.
it isn't that i don't wana help.
just wait for the work to be done and all.
but much as i want to, i just don't understand what i am doing in the end.
i cannot blame them, i cannot show my frustrations and worst of it all, i have to just take whatever's given to me.
during the mid-sem presentation, i was just sooo depressed that i really do not know what else i can do nah.
they may not say me.. but i cannot also guess what they are thinking at the end of it all... )):
useless nah.. is what i can feel right now.. right this sem.

this sem isn't going smoothly for me nah.. blu~~~
***

have to buy new presentation pants/skirt. =/
not happy with my present one nah..
omg. gary really kissed the female fan!!
whoa~~ later got gossips again...

great ar.. side-track again...
blogging seems more and more irritating nowadays. =/
cyah

not a good entry.

you jolly well do not talk HALFWAY with the person and suddenly go MIA!
it's rude..! BLOODY DAMN RUDE!
didn't your mama teach you?
or at least you would have learnt in school...
to show full attention to the one talking to you
and not be distracted???

It's damn irritating!
I get these treatments from everyone surrounding me.
and it's coming onto me. irritation!
ergh.

and now, cause of a few misunderstandings,
you made me think through alot. yet again.
why can't things just last happily for me?

other thing, where do i exactly stand in your heart?
am i ONE of the importants?
or are ******* more importants?
like why the hell...........................

does saying out really helps?
and i thought saying out destroys everything.
why do i live for?
for whom and why???

friendship wasn't there in the beginning.
all we relied on was **********
and that is a rather sad case.
i fantasized.
everyone do.
but my fantasy just do not come true.

ii need comfort sometimes.
and yet everyone seems to think otherwise of me.
the lousist student.
the worst bestfren.
the crappiest person.
and lastly,
the world's most hatred person i bet.

and why is it that i have that kind of thinkings/feelings from everyone?
thinking too much is just an excuse.
i bet when you said that,
you think so otherwise.

i do not think too much.
it's you who gave me all that *thinkings*
respect?
what do i get?

a bad character
a violent behaviour
a hidden face behind my craziness
inferior attitude

what was all that mould what i am today?
what was it that i grow through i bet others won't grow through unless..
the sufferings and misery i'm going through is enough to shock all to death
was it just so difficult to be me?
just me???



i am very tired.
i also wana end it all.
but that is a sin.
i wana be free.


p/s: the above all of *you*(s) refer to different people. if you're guilty, do something about it bah. if you're unhappy, DO NOT TELL ME. JUST GO AWAY.

im a forturnate kid! ((:

Sleigh Ride

Just hear those sleigh bells jingling,
ring ting tingling too
Come on, it's lovely weather
for a sleigh ride together with you,
Outside the snow is falling
and friends are calling "Yoo hoo,"
Come on, it's lovely weather
for a sleigh ride together with you.


Giddy yap, giddy yap, giddy yap,
let's go, Let's look at the show,
We're riding in a wonderland of snow.
Giddy yap, giddy yap, giddy yap,
it's grand, Just holding your hand,
We're gliding along with a song
of a wintry fairy land.


Our cheeks are nice and rosy
and comfy cozy are we
We're snuggled up together
like two birds of a feather would be
Let's take that road before us
and sing a chorus or two
Come on, it's lovely weather
for a sleigh ride together with you.


There's a birthday party
at the home of Farmer Gray
It'll be the perfect ending a perfect day
We'll be singing the songs
we love to sing without a single stop,
At the fireplace while we watch
the chestnuts pop. Pop! pop! pop!


There's a happy feeling
nothing in the world can buy,
When they pass around the chocolate
and the pumpkin pie
It'll nearly be like a picture print
by Currier and Ives
These wonderful things are the things
we remember all through our lives!
of a wintry fairy land

Our cheeks are nice and rosy
and comfy cozy are we
We're snuggled up together
like two birds of a feather would be
Let's take that road before us
and sing a chorus or two
Come on, it's lovely weather
for a sleigh ride together with you.

my favourite song of every songs in the whole wide world!! xD

It's the monsoon season!!
Raining every night in the west area. LOL
damn nice for sleeping laa(((:

damn sad leh..
kranji never rain
yew tee rain.. -.-"
only 5 min distance..

LOL
hate taking the bus home when it's raining..
yesterday, was raining too when i'm on the way home.
there's this stupid irritating aunty who used her assets to PUSH ME AROUND
just to GET UP THE BUS FIRST LAA!!
wanted to shout back at her..
but it's public ar..
so i didn't...

yar. didn't want this to happen again
there's a whole BIG crowd waiting for bus laa..
and i can't walk home laa..
too heavy a rain.. =/
will be drenched by the time i reached home..
therefore, solution??

CALL PAPA!!! xD
hehe!! knew he wouldn't be working late. heh!!
after much persuasion, i *won* again! hehe..

remember that time during concert..
after supper with edna they all.
i was calling papa to fetch me home from yew tee too..
and my papa is damn tired after work laa...heeehehh.....
den xiong said if he had a daughter like me..
is something something something...(never good things)
LOL

BUT...to me...
i find myself damn lucky okae..
and not my papa unlucky.. LOL
xD

and just now..
when the parents fetched me from yew tee..
on the way home...which is like.....5-8min?
they kept saying the thing which
i've heard ever since i start to remember things..

hmm..
basically,
is.....i'm lazy..and lucky.
LOL..
hmmm...

damn funny laa..
the contents are just idiotic...
whoops~
hehehehe.... =/

but...sometimes,
i just thought....
aren't they sick of saying the same things over and over again??
hmmm....

haha...
yay! christmas is coming.
the favourite festive of the year! ((:
hmmm..missed my christmas service with them...

time can never turn back. ):
cyah!

what's with me?

haha. wth laa.. xD
if one person have feelings for the other party,
sparks will *sparkle*??
or the other party will be moved by his sincerity?

is that true?
or was it...
just another show/drama?

stupid show.
just one word
drama.

hey hey hey!
phantom of the opera musical
will be here sooN!!
esplanade theatre...
who wana go with me??? xD

thought of asking gidd.
haah..
cause so far,
i think he's the only person who will watch such things with me..
(((:

have been liking this musical ever since i first heard its popular tracks
"phantom of the opera" & "music of the night"
pestered the ex almost when i first saw the movie trailer to bring me to watch on the day it's released.
then, *hoped* for the soundtrack
and got it for 2005 valentine(:
went round looking for its vcd..
but to no avail.
until now...the musical's finally stepping foot into singapore!
like....finally..!!!!
after.....20 years since they made their first appearance??? ((:
but......think no one's gona go with me bah... )):

hmmm........
LUN~~~JIALUN JIALUN JIALUN!!
if you're reading now....
help me help me ask ask can??? xD
hehehhehhee... okok.. *ssshhhhssss*
dvd also can... vcd also can...
ask for the price can? xD
owe u....another drink?
LOL..
thought about it.
decided to get it..
but....have to check out the price first. (:

IPC test's tomorrow.
sad. anw, today ended early..
pulled MS tutorial up to 11am.
ended at 12pm..
earlier i think. haha.

hui and me wanted to watch a movie.
actually she wana watch step up.
but edna's running a temperature.
i watched it before...
therefore, decided on a movie?

but we went studying in the library after school today.
for IPC tomorrow.
cleared some of my doubts.
i saw a *whole new picture of something*.
hmmm..
after that...
asked the guys wana go together..
discuss discussing discussed..
all decided to go home.. -.-"

so it's me and hui.
wanted to watch material girls..
aiya! stupid yishun didn't screen it.
xiong..told you yishun is a lousy place. =/
LOL..
so ended up with flushed away~

haha. kinda funny laa..
i was laughing all the way laa..
quite nice..wheee~
so cute laa... cartoons just lighten and brighten my day. ((:

okae.
gona study more of IPC.
won't wana fail it.
10% is it?
a lot a lot......

there's sem project to be complete.
MS to study for...test coming..
hmmm..i guess there's a lot more bah.

i needa get a new diary soon! (:
planning to get that habit back. hehe.
i feel more at ease like that.
haha.
NO ONE to comment on my chinese...
NO ONE to laugh at me being so *pathetic*
NO ONE to ... cause of helpin me to edit thus know my feelings.
NO ONE to know i HAVE BAD THINGS TO KEEP.. LOL
NO ONE to encourage me.
NO ONE to diss me casue of somethings i wrote.
and more of NO ONE.

doyoufeellousyasaperson?
causeido.
withallthesurroundingshappening
iseriouslyfeellousyasaperson.
especiallysoifthatpersonwhomadethecomment
issomeonespecial. ):

advantage of chinese((:

[edited]]
actually, from lun's blog..
i learnt one thing.
typing in chinese isn't a bad thing(: afterall.
因为有些事不想让他知道，所以用华文写了下来。。

不久前发现他偶尔会来这。。。
还写了不少与他相关的事。。
=/

现在家楼下正在举行马来婚礼。，
曾经在脑海里画出一副我于他的画面。
听着一首接一首的马来歌，
心情跟着歌曲的完幕而感到莫名的伤悲。。。

曾为了不让家人看到我的忧伤
只好用微笑来掩饰着悲伤。。
直到如今，他们还不知我心里的伤痕未*完全康复*。。
这伤痕，它已成为我心中的一个疤。
永远留着在我心的深处。

朋友都笑我愚蠢。。
一直想着过去不放手，
但他们又何曾知道，
这一段故事中有
一个不想告诉任何人的秘密。。。
一个就连和我最要好的朋友也未懂的秘密。。。
)))：

曾在"惠"的手机短讯里看过类似的话
"往往你爱的人却不会是你的终身伴侣"

应该是这样。。
以是四年前的事情了。。
。。。华语还真难用。。。
就说到这吧。。。
=/

ohmyohmy..
i actually used around one hour (maybe more) to type that small small little paragraphs laa.. )):
and i ran to mama thrice for words i forgotten..
sad! LOL

pathetic ar?
muahha~
well, i admit my chinese is poor..
hehe..
hmm..
chai hui~ correct them bah...
if there is any....LOL
anw...
someone helped me to edit already.
*ssshhhh* haha.
)): i dunwana blog in chinese anymore!!!
LOL... =/
sadsadsadsadsadsadsadsadsad~

november and december..
so many of the important people in my life
birthdays are within these two months.
and...im at my *broke-st* period of the year... =/
ahhhhh~
can miracles happpen?
xD

yar. please happen for my CEP test.
5 out of 15 questions.....
i left it blank. =/
blame on stupid sinfonia?
or me?
for not working hard enough?
yar. should be me then..

IPC's next.
the book's in locker
and i am NOT sure when's the test....
everything happens for a reason is it?

so does this means...
i should drop out of course?
=/
damn. i must wake up now.
no retaking of any modules for me.

i wana graduate the same time as my class(:
*amen*

au' bien tot~
should be like that.
au revior!!!

Went back to swiss today.
Like finally~
hahaha..
after been *chased* out last week. LOL

Almost forgotton how Mr Chew looks like.
HAHA!
=/

Well,
I envy swiss.
At least they have a PROPER band pract. =/
Wish them luck for SYF next year! xD
JiaYou orh!! (((:

I have a dream.
A dream where
everything seems right(:

je'tamie mon cheri.

reality check.
why is everyone fighting for fame and their own personal selfish gains?
):

Aiya. Wanted to blog somemore..
As usual...I forgotten.
Anyway, blogs sucks. =/

They really can't keep secrets. ):
Cyah!

*forever love*

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?, or
Saying nothing and wishing you had?

I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.

If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs.


Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?

Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.
You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own........when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you ?

Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?

We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we
don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.

But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger .

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.

Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.

* What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?

*What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?

*What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? ( even if it is that you don't care anymore)

*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?

*What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?*

***

received this email before?
i'm sure you do(:
i received it soooo many times before.
and right now.. i can only say...
it perfectly suit my current *situation* =/

i also wana blog in chinese..like lun~
however, i realised...my standards of chinese is damn lousy.
if he says he is lousy (which is soo contradicting)
then i'm damn lousy.

lol..
have never ever been good in it anyway.
shall just stick to english
or have some partial chinese words.. ((:
like how i used to do in my personal diary~

haha...
yeah yeah..
in case you're stunned.
i keep a diary.
infact...diaries...
for they ran out of pages alright. haha..
xD

they're good you know?
they won't leak out your deepest feelings..
they won't threaten you for anything..
they won't scold you for anything you said..
they won't CRASH on you after you wrote a looonngg loonnngggg *entry*
and mostly,
they show how much you have grown from your last *entry*(:

taking them out and reading them whenever i'm feeling lonely
laughing at my old-self.. (if there is such a word)
seeing how much i've *grown*
is such a joy.

however, after the birth of blogger...

my diary hasn't been written constantly..

i hate that.

yet sometimes, just feel so lazy now.

说了也没用。

我需要空间。

a bad day

great. )):
today didn't went well.
[><] think only the nine people in my clique will know what i'm talking about. i'm sad! wasted money. wasted time. and wasted a chance. LOL...... i was thinking about a lot of things. that needed me to solve it. and not leave it there to rot and get worse. =/ actions actions instead of avoiding it. anyone wana share my secrets? LOL i'm bursting.... darlings..... =/

***

why do two people with completely incompatible personality struggle to stay together?
why is one-sided love so hurtful?
why should one be hurt in order to know what true love is?
why must opposite sex attract each other?
why should the world disappear whenever he's in sight?
why does one small little sweet thing he did can just erase all the ten bad things he once did?
why is this stage so difficult to pass?
why must this feeling come at the wrong time?

people do changed.

Get Your Own! View Slideshow

great! )):
i wrote a whole lot of my feelings on the stupid blogger
and my GREAT lappy just had to died on me.........
[><] *cry9* must rewrite? now chieng jialun is gloating over my un-saved entry.... cause he had that experience too... which is like.......a common thing to happen in blogger laaa... [><]

aiya aiya!! =/
need to rewrite..
alright. i need to get into the mood(:

hmmm....
as i was writing..

ergh. forget it. shall blog another day. cyah!

Puzzlehup(:

[click to enlarge]
The Website(:

As promised.....

Hey guys!!
This is William's online business... xD
Hmm, I only know you can personalised your photos whatever to either puzzles or magnets...
And, the frame used are non-breakable! hah!
If you wana know more about it..
Just contact him okae! ((:

Okay. Done! (:
Yeah. A new skin.
Still not happy with it.
Something's not right.
Hmmm...

No mood to write.
You know how amazed you can be at one's thinkings?

bad forum

HELLO~
xD


Hmmm.
The forum's over.
Bad bad bad event. )):
Nah. Shan't talk about it.


Anyway, the concert's tomorrow.
Not feeling the excitment I should feel.
Bad omen.


Well, I'm not me nowadays.
Mood swings damn fast.
I can be sad and moody all this moment.
Then, laughing like a mad woman the next.


What the hell is wrong with me laa.......

i had this dream/nightmare a few days ago.
it just sort of pop into my mind.
i think it's cause his cousin talked to me
that made me think of this.
reaching a year
yet i just can't seem to let go
though i can be crazy at times
deep in my heart craved a place
where the memories of us
will never be erase
i dont want to but i kept
comparing everyone around me with him
i thought i had it put down
i was so wrong
couldnt put it down afterall
learning to face the truth
was the hardest phase i ever had to go through
was that still love for him?
or im just used to it that i cannot live a second w/o it?

college..sick of school

yea yea.. thanks huiz for this. xD
anyway, end of week 3
sucks to the core.

been rushing a lot a lot a lot.......... )):
the forum is driving me crazy.
)): i'm still a far cry from my 150 names.
come to the forum~~~~~ )):
*cries and beg*

like wth laa..

oooh. let's sidetrack a little bit...
hehe.. to xiaoyu, wth = what's that for~
haha...!!! xD ooppsss...

okae. back to topic.
anyway, i've like tons of things to finish up by this weekend. ):
like....getting a card for the advisors
the clothes and cloths and all for the mascot.
the 150 names.
slide for the lecturer
and a lot more.

can't wait for sunday.
spending the night over at mel's
with..chai hui??
hmm...hope she comes.
=/

well, this sem,
my lecturers are all...
either too slow..
or too repetative.
=/
LOL..

my MS lecturer even says we're AHEAD of time
when we only have our 2nd lecture.
hahaha... this sem
is relaxing.

but too relaxing already..
unlike last sem,
squeezing everything and raced against time..
LOL..
=/

eeeww..
next whole week will be having rehearsal everyday for sinfonia.
i've given out 12 tickets!! xD
wheee~
ooooh..

needed to say something.
but am afraid of this and that.
LOL..
hahahhaha... whatever..

yesterday, we did IMF presentation.
hahah! i think i did badly.
but whatever, x/
kept reminding myself not to fidget
but end up using all the wrong words
and moving here and there.
hahahhahaha.......

what to update?
hmmm....
it seems as though that there's nth for me to update anymore...
i duno how to blog anymore... )):

salut~

Allo! ((:

Just came back from intensive training in band.
and I liked it.
Had a talk with the senior.
Sectionals a lot.
Scoldings, Bondings and more...

Improving a lot. In all pieces and all areas. (:
I really hope now the concert will be a success.
Hmm..
Til now, I still have all my tickets with me..
):

Nobody's coming.
I guess.
LOL.
Don't come lor.
(:

LOL...
Now I wish that concert don't ever come.
Cause by the time it's over..
My two beloved seniors [huimin and william]] will be gone.
)): Oh! That reminds me...
I must find all ways to made huimin agree to william sitting with me during the concert! xD

I stayed on partly because of them.
If they're gone...
I don't think the yr ones will wana be there. ):
*tears tears tears*

Anyway, was penning my thoughts down on a piece of paper
yesterday...
During CEP lecture.
Here goes...

The feeling is slowly drifting away
The other feeling is also diminishing
It's sort of useless

There's no harm trying?
But you will get hurt in the process
It's what you brought it on yourself

No use blaming on others
The world isn't changing
You are.

When you look at someone
and you know they'll never feel the same again
It hurts.

When you look at things that remind you of the past
where you can't feel the past exist anymore
It hurts.

When you arrived at a place
and everything you do just reminds you of someone
It hurts.

[p.s. darling. im alright. haha. ((:]]

Lalalala~
Ooooh!
My theory test is coming... xD
Wish me luck!
Hope I won't freak out. Heheehheh!!

au revoir.

Lappy is back.
Sad. Cause everything's gone.

Well, not everything.
Long story behind.
Shall not say.

In case I get sued! xP

So far, one week of school had passed.
Hmm.
Not much comment.

Well, did quite loads of things this week.
K-boxing, movie, walked around town.
more more more..

Ya.. Erm..
Was talking with Radiah that time during band..
She had the same situation with me laa..

It's true how me and her had so very much in common.
(: hmmm...
And it just happened to me that very day we talked about it.

One of *them* was telling me this...
"smile leh.. everytime go out u never smile de..."
and more..

Thought about it and all.....
Well, it's not that I didn't smile.
I did smile and all..

Well, if you know me well enough..
I can be considered a happy-go-lucky girl..
But that doesn't mean that I cannot get angry
or I can accept all kinds of *wadeveryoucallthat* everything.
There's a limit to everything.
Especially my patience.

(><)
Bye.