contradiction

There's these two sayings:

"Time will heal everything"
and
"Absence makes the heart grow founder"

They contradict each other totally what! [>.<] I personally think time does not heal at all. It will only lighten the memory BUT. The scar will forever be there. Once you break a glass, no matter how you piece it back, there's those ugly scars! And yeah, I want you more than anything else when I don't see you, yet there's this scar where you had slit across my heart long ago.

Recent happenings only kept me further from having that little dream. It was just only sooo hard and recent that I had finally managed to walk out of that little nightmare I've been having
Just a few steps away and things got out of hand and became worse.

What have I been doing? Tsk! I guess nothing's meant to be. Feelings are just sooo hard to capture and be understood. They change the moment you let loose of it
Afterall, they are the ones in charge. Struggling with them will only make it all seems useless and ridiculous.

After all these while, I still dreams of you and the times we were together. Looking at the familar place where I spent the happiest moments in it. Everytime I drive round it without fail. The head seems to know where it's heading.

When the heart got a little out of place from the scar
All I did was to compare..compare compare compare
I can never find a better reason to put you in the better place
Though the new feeling came, replaced the old and buried it deep down the heart
I can never seem to not be telling myself it's all over

It was not in a situation where the whole thing can be repeated
Yet, there's just this *wo fang bu xia* urgh everytime
Rumaging through the things which should have been thrown years ago
Just reminds me of the sweet little times

All that you've ever done when we a part of each other
Were clearly engraved in my heart
Though I can barely remember how you looks like
A faint little look just appear everytime the dreams return now
And your faint little voice just start filling all my ear drum with oil~~

Almost in the 3rd year now, yet it all seemed like it happened yesterday
Your exact words, on that rooftop garden in the familar warmth hug you gave
the time, the clothes you were wearing, the perfume you ever like so much
the kiss you touched on my lips when it seemed like the perfect moment
the band concerts which we always go together
the way we tried to hide from everyone yet got exposed in the end secret
they way you wrote those letters to me the way you always have a way to soothe me down when we quarrlled or I'm just in one-of-those-moods days
the way I'm motivated to get good grades cause of you

If there ever's this one day where i'm given a wish to either go to my future,
or return to the past.
I will definately choose to return to that particular day and time
and go through it all over again

Well, speaking of which, I just woke up from a dream which I really did go back into time. I saw the familar place and the familar faces where we once *battled* with almost everyone for our unique relationship. The ever once encouraging person who supports us till the end telling us not to give up and there, we were back once again.

I wish I had studied extra doubly-doubly times hard and forced myself to go to the same place as you did and everything would not have been into what I am at now. I should have chosen business course instead of trying to even try to get into a course like this. Or at least just control myself, for most of the times. At least I will have less issues with people now.

Damn, I am not what you people know.

brighten

rainbow(:



it seems kind of harsh to know/face the reality..as always.
you know when the feelings we built up just drifted more and more as days passses..
the us when we needed each other like our everyday of our lives..
to change when we moved on to a totally different atmosphere/enviornment.
because of new-found friends and the different kind of time arrangments we got.
it was always so hard to find time to meet up.
where is the bond we had so strong during lower secondary part of our schools?
really, i miss all of them.



always light up my day.

not a good entry.

you jolly well do not talk HALFWAY with the person and suddenly go MIA!
it's rude..! BLOODY DAMN RUDE!
didn't your mama teach you?
or at least you would have learnt in school...
to show full attention to the one talking to you
and not be distracted???

It's damn irritating!
I get these treatments from everyone surrounding me.
and it's coming onto me. irritation!
ergh.

and now, cause of a few misunderstandings,
you made me think through alot. yet again.
why can't things just last happily for me?

other thing, where do i exactly stand in your heart?
am i ONE of the importants?
or are ******* more importants?
like why the hell...........................

does saying out really helps?
and i thought saying out destroys everything.
why do i live for?
for whom and why???

friendship wasn't there in the beginning.
all we relied on was **********
and that is a rather sad case.
i fantasized.
everyone do.
but my fantasy just do not come true.

ii need comfort sometimes.
and yet everyone seems to think otherwise of me.
the lousist student.
the worst bestfren.
the crappiest person.
and lastly,
the world's most hatred person i bet.

and why is it that i have that kind of thinkings/feelings from everyone?
thinking too much is just an excuse.
i bet when you said that,
you think so otherwise.

i do not think too much.
it's you who gave me all that *thinkings*
respect?
what do i get?

a bad character
a violent behaviour
a hidden face behind my craziness
inferior attitude

what was all that mould what i am today?
what was it that i grow through i bet others won't grow through unless..
the sufferings and misery i'm going through is enough to shock all to death
was it just so difficult to be me?
just me???



i am very tired.
i also wana end it all.
but that is a sin.
i wana be free.


p/s: the above all of *you*(s) refer to different people. if you're guilty, do something about it bah. if you're unhappy, DO NOT TELL ME. JUST GO AWAY.

THE ONLY PHOTO(((:

OOOOOHHHH!!!! xD
OMG OMG OMG OMG...
hehehe...

this is my ONLY nice nice grad photo leh!! hehehe..
OMG i'm so god damn happy now!!!!! (((((:
cuase on that day.....
a stupid prefect knocked me on my lips...
then leave a bump on the middle of my lips..
so every picture i took sucks!
hahaha!!! this photo is DARK!!!!
HEHE!! cannot see my bump laa....yeah!!!!!
OOOHH...brandson...haha..
thanks to you i found out about this photo..

but then again...hmmmmm......
how come no one ever give me this photo??
got my face leh.... =/
LOL.. sad sad sad sad.........
hahaha! so happy now. wahahah~

okok..i should go. hehe.
irritating my readers right? hahaha.
show you my grad photo okae..
ME and my class guys...and my form teacher! hahah...
yay!!! xD

sinfonia..goodbye my seniors

sab sab and me!! xD
our first concert together!!
love her!!! xD


William and me!!!! xD
My beloved senior!!
who always listen to my craps~
Thanks william!!!!!
You're a great guy and senior. hehe...
Though I alwyas say you. hahahhaa...
Will missssss you!!! )):
our first and last concert together..............


Sinfonia is over!!!!!!! )):
It was a success.
Though I made a few mistakes...
But I'm very grateful to William.. xD
Hehhee... Looking at him just relieve my stress.
What to do when i've been sitting beside him for so long le... xD

Haven't got all the photos... )):
Hope to get them soon~
(((:
My memories with my NYPSO trumpet section!!
I love my trumpet sectios!!!!!!

Thanks classmates for coming and the flowers!! xD
Thanks feroz and gang for coming...! xD
Thanks to those who went for supper with me.... ((:
Thanks jialun for passing me the flowers and sending me to yew tee. ((:
Thanks thanks thanks!!

Hehehheheh!!
I'm so happy! xD

haha. so yesterday we went and celebrate wanling's birthday for her. ((: okae. she treated us to swensens ice cream! haha. great. saw peeps i nv thought i would ever go out with. like william, lijing and meibao. hah. was having a great time as usual. and yeah. we will be meeting on thursday also.

im so sad laa. i think im becoming uglier. tsk! all thanks to everybody around me who made me say and do bad things!!!! X/ i shall be good starting from now. which means..........no more bullying of xiong anymore!! tsk! such a waste. he's sooo good to suan one lor! XD

wahaha. damn! and i wana slim down! wth.. im fat! like always~ eeeeeek! great. wadever man~


and biochem's getting irritated for me! X(



i wana cry out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hehe! so it was a last minute decision to meet up with the peeps! great decision made indeed! it's been soooooooooooooooooo long ever since i last saw them!!! XD woots~ okae. except DANIEL~ =.-" LOL. =/

HUIJUN! hahha. and i so at last get to meet you! wheee~ prettier~~ w/o the specs. hehe... XD didn't get to stay long as im kind of tired. jun's going off, deyu's going off with her. and so i left too. haha. was pretty boring watchin them pool. pool once and i went off. what a waste! haha! XD but still, it's the meeting that made sense!

next meeting will be teachers' day celebration!! XD whee~ can't wait. more peeps to meet up then. hehe. yeah!!!! esp abg. still going mrs chin's after that? hehe. and the BBQ... kind of okae. hope nothing goes wrong....! ((((:

anyway, had OC today. damn it was.............tough!!!!!!! and to think xiong and edna can say it's EASY??!!?? when chai hui and her xy said tough!!! what a messed up situation~ LOL. what's done been done anyway. just hope i get a C? or at least a D laaa.... DON'T FAIL ME! X/

haha. okae laa. kind of tired. yeah! can't wait for biochem to be over and then it's oficially holidays for me! [a lot of people had already started theirs!!! X/]] okae. whee~

my upcoming events: LOL. my very own *post exams activities* hehe.. ((:
1. teachers' day celebration XD meeting with the peeps. (((:
2. IMF? lol. okae kind of excited about it. LOL.
3. CLASS CHALET!!!!! well, at least those happening people will still be coming! XD wheee~~
4. GENTING trip!!!! hehehe... yeah!!!!!!!!!!
5. and maybe the BBQ make up alumni blablabla....!! XD


heheheh! a list of things to keep me busy! hehehehe.. wheeeeee~~~~

i feel like the little girl in the picture. lonely and down. X

and so i had been staring at the practise papers for like....idunohowlong already. and for every year paper. i can only do the 1st few questions. the recent years..i don't even know the 1st few questions!!! X( freaked out by the "knowledge" i had eh. i should just go bang a wall. X/

anyway, i just hope tomorrow i can *squeeze* everything into my head. i don't know how am i gona do that. but..yar. i have to laa. no choice. i don't wana repeat anything alright. why must there be math..!!! X/ hate it sia. anything but math is okae for me laaaa....! ergh. oh well, who can i blame. jiayou wor everyone taking exams. and of cuz CP0606! XD

and deyu is now asking me whether wana plan a bbq night as replacement for alumni dinner since.....i don't think anyone from 5n3 is going. i seriously misssss my 5n3! no matter how many conflicts we had in the past. i still missesss them. they're all part of my growing life. XD i love each and everyone of them. those i've lost contact with..it's such a waste. well, back to topic....yup. and so since the alumni dinner is considered expensive for us...we shall do with a bbq night!! XD can't wait. although nothing is confirm yet. and since a majority of them are living in the BP area......im sure they will make it ah!! won't complain about being too far or what right? it's like.........a blue blue moon that we get to meet up!! ((: so glad someone's taking initiative!!!! XD wheeeee~!!!!!!!!!!!!

woah. i can't help but think of all my post-exams activities!! i'm so lucky i have only 3 modules that are examinable. or im realllly sooo gona die.

nicholas revamped his whole blog! it looks much better laa. and his song isn't *loud* anymore. or rather, i fell in love with his song. haha. yup. micheal jackson!! hehe. all time favourite yeah. XD you are not alone.......i am here with you.....lalalalala..... haha..

and gidd sent me another song yet again. meaningful lyrics. but.....well, everytime he sent a song to me.. it represent something. this time, i can't sense anything. X/

and i got to know another kind of song through my uncle. haha. it may sound weird at first. but it definately ain't some weird song laa.. the lyrics......have the *xiao li chang dao* kind.. don't know you understand my chi not. haha. but wadever. yar. it's nice. period.

have been thinking through a lot this past week. study break ain't good at all. it made me slack even more! X( well, that's part of the thinkings. a lot more a lot more.

what's wrong with me nowadays?

***

Months ago she watched him go,
keeping silent without saying no,
since then her heart shut close,
will she ever love again? Nobody knows.
then she saw him in front of her,
both him and her smiled at each other,
She wished she could just spill her heart out,
that she still loves him no doubt.
She looked into his eyes,
it gave her that warm feeling so nice,
she wish she could just tell,
How much she misses him like hell
but she just couldn't

***

Your presence used to make me smile,
it made my thoughts run so wild,
it was always sweet talks and kisses,
and much love that one just misses.
Those days are long gone now,
nothing left can be done somehow,
I don't know your face no more,
but still my heart feels so sore.
I saw you the other day,
it made me feel down,
we were just like strangers living in different town.

well, those words just totallly describe my heart.

Thank you. for remembering. cause i sort of forgotten it. X/

I don't understand why I have to be the one who pushes. Not the one being pulled. I hate it. I'm not strong at all. I'm not. period.

I'm sick of everything that's happening around me. I don't like it one bit. It hurts to see that happening. It sucks to see this happening. It's just not right.







true love knows no boundaries.

outing for fireworks XD

see the skin colour tone difference? hehe.
*malay* and chinese. LOL.
XD



and some little of zl-ing in daddy's car. whee~

well, let me blog from yesterday yesterday till now okay. XD

i didn't really blog properly in the last entry. heh. okay. a proper entry.

[friday 11th aug]]
okae. woke up at around 10++ to get ready and prepared for the stayover and nypal comm interview. den on the way to campus, saw chai hui! haha. it's like..the first time. XD so nice. yeah! so we chatted all the way to school. den we called edna and it's like.....woah! she's walking to school wor~ the first time. haha.. [if buy 4D sure strike! whoops! XD]] yup. den was thinking whether to eat lunch when nypal people called me. asked us to go early. so okae we went there. i think i will not get into the comm la. haish. failed man. X( lost the polo tee. nevermind. don't really care for it now. wahaha.

so we saved the money and went to edna house and eat. haha. still okay okay. the last time i went, they cooked western food. so friday was the first time i ate her homecooked food. haha. still okae for me. but can tell chai hui is enjoying it very much. haha. they both can click very well. hehe. XD but not me. wadever laa hor. no matter where also i extra de. =/ used to it. LOL. hmm. back to point. after that we prepared to go watch the fireworks! wheeee!!!! i was feeling soooo excited lor. haha. and i put make-up on. [as usual]] but! chai hui~ [the one who always complained being a girl is soooo ma fan]] wanted to put make up also! haha. so in the end, they all ended up taking an hour to finish putting everything on their face. haha. i was cam-whoring alright. hahahaha. =/ borrowed the big big earrings from edna. haha. gona buy one for my own self. hehe. lovin'it. yup. took bus to esplanade. reached there ard 7pm. den took a long time to find space to watch the fireworks. thank goodness jeffrey came and we got a very very good scenery spot. haha. the rest was in the last entry. [read it bah... XD]]

yup. and after the fireworks, went to meet up with sabina yiwen and benedict. XD miss them loads. meet up again soon alright? wheee~ XD but went off after soon. waited a long long long long long long long time before the stupid bus came. had no seats laa. stand all the way till thomson 7-eleven and we saw another same no bus behind us and it's EMPTY! X( like. damit! haha. whoops. yup so went 7-eleven to buy chips and drinks. im the only one that's eligible to buy again! haha. but stupid UNCLE asked for my i/c! X( DAMIT. I WANA LOOK MY AGE LAA.... the first time pp checked my i/c cause there's no more beside me laa. darlings are all standing at the back. haha. well, when we finally reached *home*. i went to bathe first. haha. then edna then chai hui. i let them use the red earth things that i used daily. haha. the next day darling's face improved tremendously laa. haha. she's so happy. me too. hehe. XD

yup. so we crapped and played till 4++am den slp. chai hui's face was red laa! haha. due to her drink. omg. and i think she's really high! haha. den the next day. we woke up at 12++ me woke up first. dun wana disturb them i did everythin s-u-p-e-r slow and quiet laa. haha. but in the end when i came back from washing up, i woke edna up i think. haha. den slowly all kena woke up by me. LOL. den we did washing up and played webcam with zx and betrand. haha. until 3pm den we went down for breakfast cum lunch.

but we went to cuasarina prata still and ate till 4pm. haha. i rushed home after that and they went ntuc for chalet planning cost. ((: reached home at 5++ and rushed and bathe and change to meet gidd at city hall. sabina and jeff and 2 of their friends were there too. went to look for them.

sabina and the other 2 girls [huihui and sock yee i think]] went to buy dinner. so left me, gidd and jeff. haha. okae. was talking to gidd all the while since we haven meet up for some time. ((: it's still cool talking to him laa. we're still as crappy as ever. he's still being such a gentleman and an ass at the same time. haha. and so we crapped till the fireworks start. hehe. and he became more thick-skinned and self-praise. can't stand him man. haha. keep telling me how tanned he is...the muscles he got blah blah blah. haha. but got tummy! =/ whoops! hehe. smaller den me laa. hahaha. omg. can't believe i typed that down. haha. well, sure can train to abs one. since n dragonboating. haha. XD

anyway, friday's fireworks' nicer for me. my own views. and thanks to jeff that i can record video down for long timings now. haha. still not sure how to get it. hmm. shall ask him one day. XD after the fireworks me and gidd went off first.

haha. broke my promise to take pictures. LOL. cause face was damn oily at that time. =/ so don't feel like talking. hehe. and i got his watch as *hostage* for the next date. haha. and guess what, he's gona like...go for driving test soon! yeah! and i shall be his first passenger. other then family. XD honoured. wahahah. Sent me to my station as usual and he went home. it's been a great night with him around. ((:

papa fetched me after that from yew tee and brought the family for supper. haha. and now im back here blogging. finally! a proper entry! XD yeah!

so happy.
these 2 days are special to me.


but ah! me and edna failed in our mission sia. sad! =/








til the next entry.
toddles~

*poking finger* haha.. *looks at darling* I just hope I can pass my PED and not repeat this stupid module. <= Thanks. It was sort of.......expected. LOL. Duh~ Since we know what will come out. I personally think shankar already "give chance* to us already. Haha. It was easier then the class test. Hah. But still.. I think I will not have a good chance or wadever. Haha.

Hang out with the same group of clique today. Added with huiqing and melissa. Did the same thing again. Haha. Ate, pooled, arcadeded. Forever man. Not sian sia. Hahah. I want my *taitai* style of life back sia. Muahaha. =/

Oh yar. Was selected for PAL committee's interview. Seriously, I wana get into the comm badly cause of the polo tee! HAha. =x *shuts mouth* Hehe. But yar. I wana be in public speaking. ^^v Don't know why. But it's like......darn cool can! ((: That's the job for me. The attention seeker! LOL! X/

Then after that is some groccery shopping with darlings to check out the prices for the food needed for chalet! Hehe. Aiya. We haven't book a chalet yet. Haha. Soon Soon! I promise class. HAha. Just needa settle somethings first. <= Yeah! Chalet chalet chalet. ^^v

Then we will head for firework!!!!! XD *darn excited* very very vrery very very long never watch fireworks le. Hehe. The last time..........pri 5? LOL. X/

Papa was damn funny yesterday laa. He said he had never been to the national stadium and he will never go. [no chance anymore also.]] Hahah.. Don't know what's wrong with him laa.

Watched ndp parade yesterday just made me think of the times.....we were the command band for the headquaters of NCC. Feeling so proud. I wana be involved in NCC parades again!!! X( I really miss being in my band. My very own unique one and only swiss winds. *sadsad*

The days of glory where I can still be "arrogant" and proud. X/ Those behind the curtains days. the blind mice catching in band room. The scissors paper stone. The paper mahjong. The poker cardds. Those days where we will go for performances together and then spend times crapping and laughing together. Playing around with everyone. The hard work we put in to get our very own gold in 2003. The tears and happiness we shared. The prayers every band pract and just before the com. The tensed situation of waiting for our results at vch concert hall entrance. How we tried to squeezed in and grab a seat. *only tsehwee got in though =.=* How our effort paid off. How we all *celebrated* it. How the band tours brought all of us together. The caves we climbed. The performances we put up. The audiences we got clapping and cheering for us. The after *lights out* time spent in the guys room. The laughter and how close we were still at that time. The *disgusted look on our faces* LOL. Should know what Im talking about. Right.......? Sasa... X/ The every year once remembrance day buglers...last post...tatoo..the rouse blah blah blah. Haha. Oh yar, not forgetting meeting gidd there. Haha. Then, how my *husband* came about.. The last year spent there. The seniors....juniors... and everything...so many things. Yar. And all the scoldings we got from chew throughout the years. XD

Never regretted joining the band. Hehe. Ergh. That's why I hate to watch parades. I will reminisce too much. LOL.

Looking forward to tomorrow sia. Wonder what questions will I get. Hmmm.........*think think think*

so sorry for this post. advised to not read and leave straight away. (:

















I forgot about his birthday completely. Is that a good sign? I only realised when I was looking at tsehwee's calendar.

Thinking of it, it should be a good one I supposed. At least I was enjoying myself at jy's concert and surrounded with darlings. Oh yar, that very day, something good happened too~ ((:

I felt so loser. Wasted soo much time and money on preparing a birthday present for him only to throw it away on the day I started hating him. Sometimes I wonder..does he still remember anything about us..? Nah. I think not.

At least I can tell that he is treating his current one better then me. He loves her more than he loves me. I still felt that tinge of jealousy in me. =/ Somethings can never be said.

There's the fear he instilled in me.
The fear of reject.
The fear of loving.
The fear of hurting.
The fear of losing.
The fear of attachment.
and
The fear of turning love to hatred.

Yeah. I once thought that time will not be able to heal my wounds.
I once thought that I really will be so stubborn as to not let go of my heart and feelings.


People said to not look back.
However,
when loneliness creep up on me.
All I think of is you..and more of you...


why is loving such a difficult task to fulfil?
task. such description.


All the 3 yrs of everything...
it is still not easy for me to let go.
yet holding on to it means nothing.



210504, 1735.
these numbers..
they no longer mean anything.
they were my everything.
they were my motivation.
they were my study mates.




all was lost.




why isit that i find it so hard to..
really hate you..



everyone bump into you.
never me.




get me a teleporter
and teleport me back to the days
i see you everday. almost.


those days you still cared about me.
i was still part of your life.


sayangsayangsayang.

strange

School recently had been very strange. In school or lessons with darlings and the class felt weird. I felt so out of place. Especially today. It's like I shouldn't have even be there in the first place. Yes, this feeling is finally creeping up on me. I admit I hasn't really been myself ever since poly starts for me. I don't know why but I just can't seem to wana accept this new environment I'm in. I'm not saying that darlings and the class are bad. They're great people! The problem just lies with.... me. myself..

Many things are changing and some have changed. It was useless trying to stop them from changing. Yet, I cannot seem to however face this reality.

Right now, I'm badly missing the people whom were there for me my whole secondary school life. I'm missing the freedom I had in the after-school-bandroom-hideout. I'm missing the joy I had there. For me, joining the band in swiss brought about a drastic change in my life.

There, I met my loved ones..

Xueting, being the first person I ever known when I first stepped foot into the bandroom. Finding out that we live near each other was already way cool. I could have a companion home everyday. At least, almost everyday.

Who was to know, Tsehwee, the second person I made friend with (also my section-mate) brought all three of us together as besties. ((: We just got together like fate brought us together. It was ever-lasting joy in the first few months. Though after that, we sort of have a little fight, arguments and even the thought of *breaking* this bond we have appeared, we are still besties now.

Following the separation of Tsehwee and Xueting being separated into different classes at the end of secondary two bring about the forth girlfriend - Raisa.

Knowing her and making her my bestie is another blessed occurances in my life. She made me realise that the bond in us no matter what is precious. I admit that I do not really wanted her to be part of my forever-after life once. However, I learnt not to judge a person by his/her looks. (: I was sorry.

All four of us had misunderstandings, arguments and fights with each other before. A friendship which had gone through a lot of obstacles to becoming who we are today. ((: I love them.

Nah.. Wasn't trying to say anything. Just miss my girls. ((:

That was just my girls. Then there's still great people like, mira! feroz justin and sathiya! (: They are really great. I mean, haha.. I don't know how to put down in words. ((: Just note they are great people! I love them too!

The above was a bit random. Hmm. Anyway, I'm still feeling weird laa. Whenever I'm in school. Even when I'm in the band. =/

Well, Swiss is having the annual alumni dinner again. Anyone from 5N3 going?? Hmm.. If there is, tell me alright? I wana go too then. ((:

Whatever the problem is, I really hope I can just try to accept this brand new life I'm leading.

Toddles. ((:

I'm not sure if I did the right thing today. =( I felt sooo reluctant to write what I wrote and gave it to him. But only by doing this can I give him up completely. I tried for the last time. It did not work. Still.... =(

I should have know the outcome. No use trying. I'm seriously numbed to it?? Maybe NOT really. =(

But I'm glad to have at least grab a little attention from him. =) I should be contented. As I said, I MUST try to not cry because it's over but smile because it happened.

He may have change his attitude and feelings towards me.. But when he's with me.. still.. He's really the best-est boyfriend a boyfriend can ever be.




I cooled down.
and..
I'm thankful.

with love,
juliana.
2249h

I've been through it. Many times in fact. So much so that my heartt stopped feeling long ago. It isn't my fault that things turned out that way. I didn't want to end that way too.

I'm sorry.

I just wish now that God will stop being cruel to me and let me have a little bit of blessings.. =)

Band's suspended? =( *sign* It's the only entertainment and *le qu* I got in life now and it had to be suspended. How long? I'm not sure. [Wo de shen huo shi qu le wei yi de le qu... =(]

I'm going to Muse concert with Mira dearie. =) Thank God I called her. To asked. Well, I'm playing goody goody paying for her first. =) No need to thanks dear. haha.. =p Friends are for helping out anyway ah. Also, that kitten kitten.. Hmm.. Tell me what happened okays? I wana know.... =) *typical Singaporean*

Work is getting boring-er and boring-er..... and posting results will be out in 3 days time. I just read from the MOE webby that applicants who applied for any poly courses and not get selected will not be posted to anywhere.. WTH.. and we have to go down to the poly to apply straight again the next 2 days!! Bloody! Now I'm getting wobbly legs... What if I don't get into any of my chosen courses?? *f* Why didn't I just put any business courses in the past. I hated it a lot and I still hate it. BUt it seems like the only option for me to get into a course SMOOTHLY... =( BUt yet, I'm really praying deep down in my heart they will just put me into the 1st choice course. Argh.. This is all getting up my nerves....

And read from other swiss graduates' blog that DEAR MS TAY did not print yearbook for us 2005 graduates! How unreasonable can she get?? I mean.. It's our last year in swiss la. Anyway, I saw the yearbook already. It sucks totally okay! To think Swiss was so much sought after in the past. I really wana dig up her brain and see what's contained in it. Was it because our grades were lousier than last year's??

I feels so happy always whenever I'm with you... =)
I've fallen in love.... with someone who never will love me. =)

Now, with a blank mind.. I don't know what to update.

Band yesterday was okay. Mira came! =) and a few other swiss from the 2004 batch. (i.e: Lily, Zhi Lei, Vivienne, ShiYun and Elieen.) Tsehwee wan join us cornets??? =) Raisa too...?? There's Vivienne... Join la???? We're gona play Phantom of the Opera!!!!! =D wheeee~ I'm so excited.. Have been waiting for that piece for like.. ages!!!! yeah! Maybe we're gona tak part in coms too? hah. Anyway, If you two join... I'm very sure.. I'll be very happy every band pract. =)

haha.. Yar.. Raidah! I went MIA with Mira.. haha.. She's meeting her friend and I accompany to take the train.. haha..

And Justin's asking me to ask Raisa to join.. Vivienne and Luqman and me quarrelling why nv ask Tsehwee to come.. SEE!!??!! =D wana come?? =))))

haha... see! i carried Skyler! heee.. okok.. i no skills.. haha.. that's like duh! haha... im only just 17++... =))
so Mr Goh carried her and we took photos.. think this the one where Skyler farted when we're about to take the photos.. =) haha.. so cute la.. and i think she's crying here? haha.. cant tell.. still a small baby.... =D
and this the taken on huiz bday~ haha... finally got to scan it. Thanks to Mr Goh!! hee. Thanks alot.. =D
the second time one. we just cant resist this machine.. haha...
and ting took it with me too! hha.. raisa! look.. me and ting climbed!! haha... =D

hello hello~ =D finally, i get to see Skyler! hee.. she's sooo cute! and you know what?? i CARRIED her!!! =D she's so fragile... and wriggly... heee... met up with jun, cat and chun yip after i went out with xueting.. haha.. we used the climbing neo machine and we CLIMBED... haha.. gona show raisa! haha.. den we walked to his house ourselves... asking for directions here and there... =) haha.. so funny lar.. and Mr Goh's house's like... resort. haha.. according to cat.. yar la.. quite. with all the orange lights here and there.. haha.. =) spent quite some time there chatting and looking at the baby.. and we four bought something for the baby! hee.. hope Mr Goh and his wife will like it.. hee. oh yar, his house as got somethinf very nice and memorable de.. later show u.. haa.... yup.. here's the photos. ok..

see! Skyler!!! tadah~ ahha... cute rite?? ooohhh~ awww~

and that's me.. messy as usual.. haha.. think i was very noisy la.. haha.. oopss. and Skyler's sleeping lar.. ahha.. so.. there goes it. haha...

dearie huijun!!!!! =D so long nv see her la. become so pretty ah.. i almost cannot reconigse her!! haha.. serious.. cause i was late ah. den when i reached cat and chun yip were blocked by the pillar. so i was thinking whether that girl i saw was jun not la. and it was! haha.. so pretty.. =D miss her miss her!! haha..

and catherine's! haha.. so pretty oso.. the tai-tai ah.. haha.. still as *brave* as ever la.. haha... she's enjoying life man! haha.. what a *tai-tai* rite. haha..

chun yip! the mushroom head! haha.. even though i love mushrooms alot.. but him being the mushroom head in my class sure dint made me hate mushroom. haha. ok. im not sure what im talking about. haha. but at long last he give me my coleslaw.. (spelling?) haha.. supposed to be chocolate la. haha... miss his laughter ah.. haa.. miss my class.. =D

another one. yup. ok.. now look at not the persons but the picture behind us! Mr Goh and his wife! in an open field near their house la. like wow.. as if it was taken in some ulu ulu field ah.. and there the words are: *on this day, i married my best friend, the one i laugh with, dream with, love.* and their dating and anniversary date! aww... so loving la.. haha.. *envy* =)

and here is abg!!!! haha.. i like miss him like hell la!!!! ahaha... blur blur nice ah! ahha.. hee... miss miss!! haha... he's still the same la. haha.. =)

and here's.. Skyler with a cutie hatie! =D hee.. so cute la..

last pic! me and my dearie!! =)) love loves! haa..

hee... though its 21st.. i can say i still enjoyed myself on this day. =) oh ya. happy belated birthday to KENNY! =) stay handsome always ah.. =)) bye!!!