sad sad sad

)):
alot of things happened just within these two days.
-.-"

well, at least one module's down! xD finally.
had the comm skills CT today.
it's the 1st time! lol..
i finished the paper way earlier then others..
and im the first girl to be outta that LT!!
wahaha... *haha6*

i shall say the paper's easy.
not damn easy kind.
but easy IF you studied. xD

well, i did NOT study for the paper nah..
but the revision tutorial in the morning helps.. xD
luckily, the tutorial is on the CT day itself.
so yup. it kinda helped... hehehe.. *phew*

okae..then, hmm...
had a little *conflict* with one of the clique.
): sad. but i couldn't just take it lying down.
alot of things happened nah...
noting it down will just spoil my mood for blogging. =/
therefore, i shall just keep quiet about it.
but i really think just letting it be like that, it's a waste.
afterall, like what bro said, we still have 2 years to go... -.-"

hmm, okae..
what next..ooooooh!
open house tomorrow... -.-"
getting sian nah....
isn't the event that sian-ed me..
but the overall processsss of it..
hahahha....
certain things really cannot be said here nah...
just have this -> [-Quit]
((: a member of the clan!! hahahahaha....

oooh... talking about this, i have to call my four helpers....
to inform them about tomorrow..
hahahha~~ will i get any freee sponsors??? LOL! =/

okok... anyone of you wana come for the OH, call me arrr! hahaha...
i may be able to just meet up and chat with you nah.. ((:

OOOhHHH~~!!! o.O
hahahha!! okay.. did i tell you guys i served steven lim last friday????
wahahaha.... he came by cheers and bought things nah~~~
i was the cashier for that day ar...
he's like wearing UNDERsized BoXER!!
*lmao* =/
okae.. i was only trying to make fun nah..
i know seeing him is like a norm for many... LOL
=/ whooopppssss!

the cough's still here nah..
i don't want it here for 2 months!!!
*gasp & runs away*
)): cure me cure me...
i don't wana be sick~~~~~~~~
BOOOOOO!!!

one week

didn't go to school today. =/
not because i don't want to.
but because the headache's back.
hmmm..so as not to aggravate it..
for just like... 2 hours of math and IPC.
which is like from 8am-10am..
i stayed home.

and yay!
now i'm feeling sooo much better already!
not so sick anymore..
all's left are the cough and flu.. -.-
one week... exactly.
how long can this illness be man..
hahha... wasted one whole week of my time.

i don't know what i was doing the whole of last week nah.
just that i spent the most of my time...
in bed sleeping and popping pills in the kitchen..
i felt so disgusted by the sight of pills now. =/

after i fully woke up..
realised that other than the 2 hours of lessons,
i have like... PAL roadshow, supposedly meeting with jenette
and more? whatever... there's training tomorrow also.
aiya! basically, i missed out on a lot of things last week and today. -.-
how great nah. *frustrated*

well, ipc's tomorrow.
hmm.. comm skills' wednesday
lucky cep's postponed to next week.
which reminds me....
sem proj's presentation's next week too..

***
talking about sem proj.
i feel so sad and guilty nah.
haven't been contributing anything at all.
and great. i don't understand what the topic is nah.
come to think of it, almost every team work..
do not have any of my work at all.

now you know why i keep wanting to change course?
it doesn't help that i tried to do this and that.
it isn't that i don't wana help.
just wait for the work to be done and all.
but much as i want to, i just don't understand what i am doing in the end.
i cannot blame them, i cannot show my frustrations and worst of it all, i have to just take whatever's given to me.
during the mid-sem presentation, i was just sooo depressed that i really do not know what else i can do nah.
they may not say me.. but i cannot also guess what they are thinking at the end of it all... )):
useless nah.. is what i can feel right now.. right this sem.

this sem isn't going smoothly for me nah.. blu~~~
***

have to buy new presentation pants/skirt. =/
not happy with my present one nah..
omg. gary really kissed the female fan!!
whoa~~ later got gossips again...

great ar.. side-track again...
blogging seems more and more irritating nowadays. =/
cyah

getting well?

the headache's getting better
the cough's still the same..
the flu's still the same
and the sore throat's still the same..

so am i getting better or what?
-.-"

yesterday, had no choice but to ask for off from work last mintue.
): was feeling so so so uncomfortable all the while.
and i spent the whole day and night resting and sleeping.
except the times i woke up to bath and take my medicine..
BOO~~ sad! T.T

then this morning, woke up to feel a little better.
took the antibiotics and skip the medicines' part.
then went online..
didn't have the com on the whole of yesterday sia..

great. so suddenly all of them are so interested in quitting..
see! who's the one who asked me to bear with it for a com yr?
now, after next saturday.. it's a different story! LOL
-.-"

so many people to be involved together.. xD
why am i gloating now sia... =/
haha! but i AM happy now that things have turned out like this. ((:

requested to work once only a day next week. ((:
yay! xD great!
guess im only also redundant there.. hahahah!!!! =/

3rd feb come sooner will you??
hahahhaa... *winks winks*
xD

and CNY's in another month or less.
the clothes are ready.
the shoes are ready.
the hair's not ready!!!! blu~~~
grow faster will you...?
i miss my once long hair...... T.T
the nails are sort of okae..
the cosmestics are sort of okae too i guess..
should i just stick to normal lenses this year?
hahahah.... CNY CNY~~~
time for the red packets to be into my pockets!! xD

but that will only mean....exams...!!
*grrrr* stressssss yea.....?
will i fail this sem?
or will i just passs again smoothly?
hahah! get me marketing or accounting..
either one of this will do..
not the rest thanks(:

dying soon i guessss =/

well, the headache's been getting worse.
so are flu and cough.. )):
and! doctor suspect me of TB nah... wth! =/
shouldn't be that bad huh...

have to observe myself for few days again..
and i thought the chest problem have been solved... (>.<)
5 types of medicines to be taken everyday!
never have had such cases before neh... T.T
i wonder what's wrong with blogger..
it don't wana let me upload pictures!! (>.<)
wth! shucks~ shall change to the new blogger soon i guess.
since it's OUT of beta.. =/ wahah~

missed work yesterday as the headache had no improvement. -.-"
well, been like 2 weeks ever since i started work there.
not that bad yet not that good too. =/
aiyer... working adult world.. have to get used to it one day also... =/

***
had a nightmare yesterday.
recently..all the things that happened..
just made me think of you. ):
let past let go.
how to do so when there's unfinished wishes????
it's easy to say.
but difficult to do it.
actions speak louder than words remember? ):
i just miss you so much.

***

hui: hmm.. well, i guess urs is exception? haha..or cause u also adnormal..... that's why never work together!!!!! arr... i think that's the answer!! =/ wahaha!!

tsehweee: yea yea~~ and im sick ar... just nice! LOL... pills sia... see le scared!!!! haha... and yea~~~ come yck often ar... *grins grins* hehehe~~ xD so i can bump into u one day!! xD yay!!

felicia: erm..sure~ hha.. but i thought must pass your bday? and 1989 is 21 yrs old? not? hmmm.....

raidah: hehe.. still the same mar... means no change! LOL.. xD hehe.. and yea.. i agree that bumping into the ones you know is like slim ar... hehe.. xD cyah often!! (((:

sick sick sick! ><

ooh!
that wasn't very long a break i took from the last entry yea?
xD hehe~
always have had some reasons that i stopped for quite some time.

got sick yesterday.
couldn't wait two hours for MS tut to start and i went straight home.
feeling cold throughout the whole journey i took.
ooh yar..i saw raidah! haha... still the same.. no change..
just that i was too tired and sick to concentrate.. hehe..
reached home around 11am++, took medi and slpt all the way from morning till night.
then i got fever, sore throat and still...headache!! -.-"
how great.

now the fever's gone..
flu plus cough came.
what great partners flu and cough always are... -.-"
headache's still as splitting as ever..
(>.<) got to work tomorrow. wonder if i will faint from standing for 7 hours not.. =/ choy~~ hahhaha... whoops. anyway, i dreamt that k-box's having a 50% off discount nah! (>.<) BOO. wanted to sing K too much! LOL well, i need to get my calculator back nah... the lil sis stupid teacher's been bugging her... well, in terms, bugging me! (>.<) and i think if she use the casio's for too long.. she may not adapt to sharp's style of calculating... -.-" which is true. cause i just cannot use sharp's.. for all the functions are different! =/ shall get it back by this week i guess... next week have got three tests coming up.. MS, IPC and CEP.. wth! think i will fail all nah.... eeeeewww! i wana change course!!!! =/ okok.. joking. =/ =/ 2007 have no great start for me yet nah! eeeww... i also wana go wedding dinner!!! =/ wahaha~~ anyone getting married? invite me....! LOL i think im going mad from the headache to have type out those words.... no appetite~ bro says that other people who get sore throat don't talk.. but im like the opposite.... -.-" hahaha.... guess that's me bah! YOU DON'T BLAME ME OKAE.. LOL and he has been bullying me! (>.<)
irritaiting... haha..
guess he did not read MY christmas card to him PROPERLY!
whee~~ LOL!

the finishing 5 parts!! xD


so that's the thing we've been rushing out for 2 days just for the birthday girl, edna darling. xD
hahaha.. hope she will like it. xD

hahha...good lor..my birthday also never reach such expensive and *thoughful* present! hahaha... okok.. xiong's worse..kept complaining he got NOTHING..LOL..
so petty one...guy somemore.. hahah... that 2 days had so much happenings laa..but i cant update cause....edna will read my blog.. so i didn't touch the blog.. sad. now i everything also forgot. haaha.. not really forgot laa... lazy? LOL =/

anyway.. had my chest x-rayed on friday. was feeling the pain getting worse..hmm..so decided to go for the check-up after much persuasion from them.. =/ kena scolded for not wanting to go laa... sian~ LOL..

it's over anyway~ some minor problem. needa observe for 2 weeks bah.. stupid doc ar..made me wait for 2 hours..and tell me my report is not up yet. and i have to wait for another patient's time to get to finally see the results laa.. luckily nothing serious. next time i have chest pain..i won't worry about it anymore~ LOL.. whoops. but still needa notice of it laa...what if my lungs exploded inside?!? hahha.. =/ whoops. okok.. shall stop joking.

anyway, nov got a lot of babies leh...had to reject edmund's to go for edna's cause she asked first. then jialun there got his *ben*'s...after that, there's xiong's girlfriend.. haha..after that, it's chew's..wow~ so many so many... LOL
anw,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EDNA!!! xD

I'm too am frustrated by the enrolement process! *ARGH* how to express my frustrations???!!!!! haiz.

Anyway, I need to go for a medical check-up. =( Science course.. Sooo troublesome... I really don't know how to enrole myself in the course anymore...... =(

Im going to the expo food fair!!!!! yeah! Don't need papa to accompany me anymore... Going out with friends is better! haha...... =D ooopss... Though I like older guys now.. =x

Yeah....! Had a new friend today.. =) wheee... It was nice talking to her...

hmm.. Though I had just know her for like... one night? It feels as if I'm talking to some old friend.. =) great isn't it? She mentioned that I talk as if I am a polite person. haha.. I feel so nice. haha.. For once. =D Heck the world knows I am bad.. haha..

Anyway, went to celebrate valentine's day with my dearies! Yeah! It's like finally 4 of us are together. Agree? and stupid tsehwee just asked last minute. I had like no time to prepare the presents. haha.. I promised to give it to you all some time later ok?

It feels great you know. Really great to be with my dearies once again hitting the town and screaming like nobody business. Souring at others with the flowers in their hands and all..! Most of all, remininscing about old times.. Thinking about the past relationships and what's more? BUMPING into Nicholas and his girlfriend! and boy dear Xueting, you're bad! haha.. It's just soo us to do this kind of thing eh? hee...

Wanted to watch Casanova but had like no good seats. So headed for North Country. The movie's nice! yeah! haha.. Speaking of women's rights!! =) so kewl~

ah.. the problem with a lousy scanner. Cant scan the pictures we took! haha.. No Mr Goh to help! haha.. *pouts*

Can't wait for the posting results to be release soon! =) I miss a lot of things in life. I miss Skyler!! [I kissed her before! =D] I miss the times I'm in school.. I miss the time I'm in band. I miss the old us. I miss playing MY cornet. I also miss the way I behave in class! haha. I think it's all gone now?

Gona be 18 soon. Feel soo old la. Not ready yet.. Not ready yet... =) But I can finally like learn driving!!! yeah!! Wait till I get MY driving license.. Is that the way you spell it? He taught me how to spell this a lot of times. But I just could not remember it. =(

ah.. This entry is sooo long. Blame it on me having nothing to do. hah.. My hour clock just shifted itself. I cant get to sleep at night ah. Unless it's 3am or something near to that.. =( and it's bad la.. Cause my eye bags are showing! So badly...

haha.. I was thinking of my life till now sooo far.. And it clearly shows that I'm a pampered princess! haha.. All my 17++ years.. I recalled different people in my life saying = "Can you stop beahving like a pampered princess?"

haha.. How great is that? Born to a life of pampering surrounding me.

Okay.. Now I'm feeling tired alr. It's almost 1.10am. haha.. tata.. bye! =)

Artist: Mya Lyrics
Song: If U Died I Wouldnt Cry Cuz U Never Loved Me Anywa Lyrics

[Verse 1:]
Mmmmmmm
Oh you hurt me so bad
It started out so perfect
Something God could only create
a union of both me and you on this special day
Never once did I take for granted
That you've been hurt before
So you treated me like a lady and even more
So I can't understand why you brought the storms into my life
Tell me why?
You destroyed every part of me
Now what once a beautiful lady
That you showered with your love
Must live with a heart that bleeds

[Chorus Dru Hill (Mya)]
I hope you never have to come this way again (This way again)
You used to be my lover and my friend (That was the end)
[Mya: ]
So please don't take offense when I say what I have to say
Cause if you died I wouldn't cry cause you never loved me any way

[Verse 2]
Promises made and secrets told
late nights spent in ecstasy
We made love in a bed of roses
For the universe to see
There was no holding back from each other
Both of our minds were free
whenever we spent time apart
Boy it seems like eternity

So I can't understand why you brought this pain into my life
Oh tell me why
I gave you a reason to live
And you used my love in vain
So go on by yourself to survive this alone
You know you can't come back home

[Chorus]
I hope you never have to come this way again (I hope you never to come this way again)
You used to be my lover and my friend (You did you did)
[Mya: ]
So please don't take offense when I say what I have to say
If you died I wouldn't cry cause you never love me anyway
No way no way no way

[Verse 3:]
How could this be
After all the love you said we shared
You turn around and leave
Boy you know you were my heart and soul
But I can't be hurt I gotta let you go
Together forever that's what we both said
I didn't know that life could be so unfair

I hope you never have to come this way again (Baby you did this to me)
You used to be my lover and my friend (You were my lover)
[Mya:]
So please don't take offense when I say what I have to say
I hope you die, I hope you die
cause you never love me anyway(Cause you never loved me anyway)

I hope you never have to come this way again (you never never never never never never never never)
You used to be my lover and my friend (You use to be my best friend)
You can get struck by lighting
Washed away by the sea
Burned in a fire just don't bring it back to me Cause
Cause if you died I wouldn't cry cause you never love me anyway (Cause you never loved me anyway)

get over it juliana!

Okay. Had registered my courses already. Here's the choices:

1st: Optometry (SP)
2nd: Applied Food Science and Nutrition (TP)
3rd: Chemical Process Technology (SP)
4th: Biomedical Science (SP)
5th: Biomedical Science/Biomedical Laboratory Technology (NP)
6th: Biomedical Science (TP)
7th: Dental Therapy (NYP)
8th: Music and Audio Technology (SP)
9th: Chemical and Pharmaceutical Technology (NYP)
10th: Business Studies (NP)
11th: Biomedical Sciences (RP)
12th: Food Science (NYP) *new course*

haha... So that's what I chose. Mainly ranging towards sciences.. haha.. Business Studies is in the choices cause... I couldn't find any more choice I want. And.... I don't want to get into RP ah. that's why it's the 11th choice. Food Science at NYP is a new course. Hmm.. A bit risky though. hah.. In anyway, just hope I can get into my 1st choice course. =D *seriously praying hard for it*

Wondering why I did not put applied food science and nutrition as my 1st choice now? hah.. Alright. Cause.......... I kind of change my mind. =) That's easy as it is. haha.. I don't wana put business related course de..... But no choice la hor.. =) haha.... oopssss.... *staring at huiz* =x

Whatever whatever? hee.. Now, just sit back and wait for the results of posting weeks later..... I forgot to put down my email in the registeration form just now la! =( haha..

i forgot to thank Ms Lim.. She was the one who did not gave up on me. She pushed me to the limit and made me believe mathematics isn't as scary as it seems it is. She made stupid *insults* so just so we would wake up and start studying for math.. Thanks Ms Lim.. =)

Kept in the heart forever.
You became my memories.
eternally......

okok.. Is it a trend to must update when results are taken? hah. (= but wadever, I got enough, though not good enough, to get into my dream course. Just hoping now that MOE will approve of it. =D

I was on the verge of crying already. Thankfully, there's Mr Goh and Ms Lim to keep me company. And thanks Mr Goh.. (If you happen to see it.) For.... All the 3 years you've taught me?? (= And calming me down and laugh with me! haha.. Thanks!! You're the Best teacher I've ever had in all my primary and secondary schols years! Though not say very encouraging but yet still encouraging. Hah.. Okay, I'm getting nowhere... Anyway, just a thanks okok? (=

Then, yar. Its also partially thanks to Ms Seah.. =) After whining and listening to you.. I sort of *let it go*. Though I still need time.. But as you said, such a sweet girl like me deserves better? And one thing I agree a lot with, a relationship which hurts will made you treasure your next relationship even more and you've just learn to cherish more things around you. And, I've just gained more experiences from this relationship.

Although it was my dream to make this relationship of mine last. But it broke and burst(ed) into thin air.. Yet, I was also blissful once and the wonderful memories you'd given me.. I thank you for this *lesson*. But as for the integrity she mentioned. I guess, I've lost it. =( I'm sick of myself.

Ms Seah was the only one who listens to me and gave me encouragments. I sincerely thank you. =)

As for you, You changed. But.. I guess it should not matter to me now. =)

Went to sort of celeb or gather with old classmates just now. Had fun!! It was soo nice la..

I'm letting you go.
Rather than trying to keep the string in pain,
I learn to cut and let it free itself.
I loved you and I still do.
But loving means a kind of sacrific.
Not owning..

it's nearing.

it's wednesday already. i think i've gotten quite numb to results. a lot of my relatives so-called *kai dao* me. haha.. wadever. they just so thought i would not be able to take it ah. it also shows how little confidence they have in me. =(

haha.. it might be a good thing. holding high hopes for juliana is never a good bet. haha.. i always freaked out at the important major events.. *that's me* =) haha...therefore, put your bet somewhere else.

oh yar, i seriously need new clothes. really am getting sick of all my clothes.. =( been wearing them like sooo often now that people asked me whether i've money for new clothes not.. or am i really so thrifty.. haha.. new bottoms especially.. =D it just gets me sick of wearing the same outfit all over and over again. haha..

and to think if i am able to get into poly.. no way am i going to be wearing the same old combination always. right? haha.. =x

haha... by the way, that old old picture right at the top of the entry.. hee... think think think. shall we spend valentine's day together instead?? =) my dearies..... since it's sooo hard for us to have a get-together.. =) tell me what you think alright? whee...

oh no.. i've grown fatter.. =( really fat.. stupid cny goodies.. =( made me uncontrollable......

if things are meant to be lost, you wun find it no matter how hard you search for it.. =( just like the cap that i bought for him...............

false hope? happy sad?

okay, im giving myself false hopes. at least i can secure myself.. just this little bit. =)

im learning to knit now. for a suprise! =) lucky someone does not read my blog. but no matter what, i hope my sincerity will be able to move that someone. even if it fails, i'll still just hold on and hold on and hold on........

friday's the day. gona introduce baby to Mr Goh! =) mama called me crazy for wanting to bring him to school. it holds special memories for me. it is also the last monthsary present i got from him. still remember that time, baby was brought to my very eyes.. in suprise! =D im really very angry at myself. for not being persistent enough. but still, baby let me realise how important *baby* is to me.

ahh... out of point out of point. haha.. im trying very very hard to be as normal as i can be. towards him. and let nature path my way for me. =)

i really hope to occupy that space in your heart again and that i will once again be the most important person in your life.. that's all i ask of you......

oh ya, i did not contact ear cancer. confirmed yesterday already.. =D yeah!

im breaking down soon................

hmm.. for every second of happiness i had, there'll be an hour of saddness for me. i guess it's really true that dragons are gona be very down in luck or wadever this year. or maybe it's just... me.

so this year had just started. but i am really wishing for it to end already.

serious, no matter how hard i try, i keep failing. that's why me hopes for the up-coming results are dead. buried deep down in my heart. the flame burned out.

even though we're in the 21st century.. my minds are still as at the 10th century or something. and to add on, pessimistic IS in my blood.

was out visiting the teachers yesterday.. had fun with them. but as i said, there'll be moments of unhappiness. which is of cuz not known. anyway, it was a pity that ms ong and mr goh both's not free.. =(

well, after that papa fetched me from mrs chin house and we went loy hei..

my eyes were infected from all the eye make-up and cosmestic contact lenses.. =( and it went red.. real red.. had it for three days already. painful... will i go blind? i wish i could. so that i will not have to see the cruel side of this world. that's being bestowed on me. =(

and i was right about the quintet. it did not went on as planned. *sign. it was not about me wanting to be in it. but about seeing him every week. yet it back off.. just not fated.

got a new template all together. really wish.. that i will be like in the past. even though we're still studying den.. i could feel the warmness in him. now.. im just a cold stoned living figure. devoid of a love so true..

sayuri a.k.a chiyo got to be with the chairman in the end. how nice. suddenly, i felt a tinge of respect for the geisha(s). *bow*

oh ya.. im gona spend a very lonely valentine this year. =( i need you my dear.......

i hate you jerk!

urgh! im so angry now okay.... *grrrr* sooo angry that i can bite!

how irresponsible can one get??? did i mention yesterday came a new staff... a new perm staff la. and she's like around same age as me. (older note that.) and she played disappearing act today! called her and she said there's too much work!

hey come on la... of cause there'll be work la.. you're coming to the real world you know... think what? hide one side behind teachers still ah? thinking it'll be like studies ah.. every job has got its own difficulty what...... find time to adapt to it la. man~ =( i tell you im so angry la. angry angry angry.... sooo angry that i've run out of words...... argh! irresponsible girl!!!!!!! and when im angry im unreasonable. so just stop here now if you readers dun wana get offended by what i'll write. i dun what will blast out of this hands that's typing.

tomorrow will be the start of the quintet band? i guess so.. but looking at that person's situation... will it be cancelled????? hatred is what is growing in me right now i tell you.

a love so pure.. and innocent. destroyed by you. turned into cold..... lonely.... still........ thing. wadever. i know my english suck. back off if you're offended. it's meant for you anyway. i hate you. you destroyed my life.

you taught me how to be ruthless... how to be heartless.. how to be unfeeling.

blame yourself. bastard.

i seriously need you sayang.......

it's so hard so hard to gain trust from all of you nowadays. =(

all left me one by one. mama's right. im actually a very lonely girl. what's with all the : "i'll be here dun worry" and "im just a call away"??!!??

i just.....

damn it.

it's useless.

no one hears me screaming. no one knows the pain i am going through. no one cared to even bother about me. i should move on? is that your answer to me? i don't want this answer.. i dont want i dont want i dont want........................ =(

im living in complete misery.

above are the pics for today~ haha.. like duh! haha.. had a great time visiting today..... =) well, guess it's the end of CNY collecting ang baos for me alr.. haha.. nope! i still have sat. =D gona meet hui bing they all! go visit teachers! haha.. yeah!!! =)) so happy la.. haven seen them for so long... (((:

visiting today was so funny la. me family went for mac breakfast in the morning.. but den all went back for a change of clothes. haha.. as u can see in the pic.. and i was kind enough to let my little sis wear the dress.. =) cause i dun like it anymore ah. mama asked me to let it to my lil sis. hehe.. funny la. and my aunt kena suan all the way... from the first house to the last house.. by my cousins and me! haha... she looked irritated~~heee... funny funny day.. that all ends my day... see euuuuuu........ =D

i need time.. to get over you.. i got upset over that event u had.. =( but then, it's not all up to me to bother. and im dun seem to be important to you anymore. i guess, even if i died in a car accident, it wouldn't bother you much eh? i really wish to know how much i means to you now.. had your feelings all died totally on me already? izit really so difficult to accept me all over again?? why is this all getting so hard for me...? you found joy in everything else.... but i lost hope in life.... you are the one who gave my life light and brightens it up..... yet you are also the one who took it away and made me lose hopes in life.

how much do i matter to you now? can you let me know? =(

haha.. my chu yi was spent very wrongly ah.. everyone woke up feeling grumpy. and papa's sick ah.. =( but still okae ah.. and we FORGOT to take chuan jia fu la... =( so sad... but still, it was okay overall.. went visiting a few duno who relatives places and got a few red packets. fewwer than last years.. =( not fair.. haha.. and no more CNY atmosphere ah... not really much emphasize now.. ah.. who cares... it's hols for pp...

and today no visiting... cause.. i also not sure.. haha.. wadever.. some photos from yesterday. =)

my mama.. so not nice. haha.. cause i disturbed her from makeing up to take photos with me.. so she's just yin-cho-in me ah.. haa...

my sis! haha.. looked like we're not wearing any clothes rite? haa.. oopss. have la. haa... =D

my two sis.. haha.. contrast.. big and small.. =x hee..

mama papa... papa don't look well thus no smile... =(

my best fren in car.. beary! =D baby at home and in car, it's beary and me! wheee~ =D

lala, my little cousin, my sis and I.. haha... ok..i hve poor aiming skills..

den lala's mama, my aunt. joined in the fun~ hehe...

lala and sis.. looked ugly ah? haha..

lala and me.. haha.. better den sis one.. she's jealous ah~ haha....

i have short hands la.. my little sis cud not be seen! haha.. too bad~ haha..

den came home for a bath and change of clothes before going down to grandmama house for dinner..

another one.. haha.. my purple lenses cannot be seen on my eyes... =( im so sad la.. so i decided to try green next time.. stupid eyes.. i really think i have an abnormal body and face features.... =( haha.. yup.. my chu yi's gone lidat. and chu er's so boring. been watching tv.. ahha.... gona go grandmama house for dinner again later.. with all the relatives later.. haha.. more red packets? haha... ciaos~! =D

Happpy Lunar New Year!!!!!!!!! Gong Xi Gong Xi!!! =D

i had the happiest working days in my life ever! for the last three days.... =D

three days ago....

on wednesday, my so called director cum supervisor (Darren) treated me to zhu chao~ there's curry fish head! haha.. and it's only $9.. so cheap. to think hey said the prices increased! haha.. together with a foreman. =) 1 girl and 2 guys. haha... anw, it was funny la.. just so funny.. the conversations we had and how they bullied me! hhaah.. and since i had not confirm whether im gona stay for the rest of the weeks.. they keep saying me.. haha.. like, work two months only wan go.. no sense of responsibility bla bla bla la.. tryin to make me feel guilty.. =( haha..

den thursday.. i went new yr shopping with my manager and dolly, haha.. used the lunch hour to do the shopping but still we went back 2 hrs later. like duh~ how to shop in one hour rite? hee...

den friday, which is today.. Darren treated me again. haha.. hmm.. not really him. haha.. its the foreman. plus another man.. the operations executive (spelling?) [Hansen] haha..

it's funny listening to them talk about their experiences in working lives and all.. how they look at girls when they were repairing boom lifts and all complicated machines. its like they rented it to other companies and when there's something wrong with it.. they'll be required to go down to the location and fixed it. haha.. there's one at PSA sembawang and Republic Poly la. and they are like, explaining it to me.. their eyes and how they took turns to look at the girls there and fixed the machine. =D

haha.. it's difficult to explain it on a blog entry. hah.. can never feel the atmosphere i felt. hee. and mayb to some it's even boring.. so forget it.

yup. Darren hired a new girl alr. she's starting work on 1st of feb and i had to coach her before i can leave that place.

today i did the spring cleaning at the store and suddenly, i dun feel like leaving.. mayb it's the sudden acceptance of the workers there now that they know im gona leave. haha.. i dint know i leave such good impression on them. =) it's like all were blaming me la that i had to leave. hee. and said i have no sense of everything that can be linked to staying there. in a joking manner of cause. =) i felt so blessed that i was given this job by my aunt den now. cause i can never have this kind of experience again.

anyway, CNY is coming again! haha.. yeah!! oh huiz! in case u have the patience to read till here, yup! i like being advanced la! =D see you all!!!!

oh no, my results' gona be here realll sooonn! help help help. somehow i feel something bad will happen to me. im so gona bring my ULTRA-BABY to school on that day and! don't you guys laugh at me. it's just my character. i loveeee soft toys and most of all, ULTRAMAN!!! =D

even though looking at my ultra-baby brings back sad sad memories. but i still love him the most of all the soft toys beside my pillows. it surpassed my love for baby donald okae..! it is my prized posession. (spelling?)

therefore, i am so so so gona bring it to school on results day. and im not gona care about all the eyes that will be looking at me okay. just in case i burst out crying [be it good news or bad news] at least i'll have baby with me. cause i already lost sayang's shoulders. please do not try to stop me yea.

take care of yourselves this CNY hols ah. dun fall sick from all those heaty stuffs! =)

ooh.i think cause of you, i've stopped liking ba gua.

I've thought it through. I should not be holding on. We could have made it. But he made it clear that he does not want to be committed. Therefore, I should not be holding on too. The tears i weep and wiped, will not be retrieved. The pain I am holding on, nobody understands and knows. But........................... I just cant do it. No matter what............. It hurts me too much too deep............ The memories that he gave me is enough. I should be contented. I should have seen this coming. No, I knew this would come. BUt just didn't expect it ot come after 1.5 years together. I know by me giving up. I'll lose him forever.............. Mr Goh once said: If your characters are different, there's no point in staying together for problems will arise somehow. something lidat. I didn't believe it then. For i believe that one will change for the other if they really love each other. to accomodate each other.

The promise he told me. I let him go. If he's meant to be mine.. He'll be.. I really wana be like the song playing in my blog.

I said and I will keep by it. I'll keep waiting.... and believing...........

living life w/o him is really hard. I just keep trying. Even though I could not make him happy but, being stubborn is my forte. I know.. I will love him forever. Time is all i have now.

the knives stabbed in my heart.

the wounds he left on me.

will not stop me from loving him.

i still love him.