a new beginning ♥

was reading others celebrating about their 1st year anniversary. reminded of mine. =(

i was still preparing for our 2nd year when everything turned black... and dull in my life. what an irony. aint our feelings supposed to be better and closer after 'O's rather than dulling it? i almost got over it. but i just cannot do it. don't ask me not to think of it. don't ask me to smile more. esp when it concerned you.

work has and had taken away my relationship, my freedom, my style and more and more. even friends. closest friends i have.. are now like strangers. i seriously blamed my mama for sort of ruining my life. puppy love. is this it? why izzit not true love? move on. u said. i wished i could. i'm waiting. yes i am. even if you pretended not to know. i still am. even if you reminded me time and again, *we're frens, nth more.* i still wait. even if in the end you can get over me. i'll still wait. no matter what, im waiting.

mayb im stupid. but i know and i just know. i believe in this love. even if you erased those msges you locked them last time. i still believe. i believe and will keep on believing. i love and will keep on loving. i wait and will keep on waiting. and i'll forever basked in this love of ours. ours only. it belongs to me. you stirred my heart. now it lie frozen. waiting for its sunshine to shine on it and warm it again. believe me. i know i can make it. all i need is just a... chance.

okae. i need a space to vent it out.if not i'll just burst. like i said. i can find nobody nowadays. =( moreover, nobody reads my blog also. so it's okay. hmm.. yup. with a brighter note, im gona get my hp accersories soon! so happy. =)

oh, i just realised, it's friday.. the 13th lehz! but it also means, exactly 3 more months to my bday! hmm. which i hope will not come. as i will be alone. being lonely on one's bday isn't good. it really sucks. i still have pp fretting over my bday last two years. so fast, smashed smashed smashed. i really hope... you don't come, bday. i really dun need you. just skip that day for me. and jump a day for me. let me wake up and it's 14th of april? this way, i wun feel as devastated as being on the day itself. i can already imagine that day. i dread it... skip a day and i can register my driving lessons and theory tests and get my driving lessons asap. please. skip it skip it!

ah. i really am getting bored and tired of my life. i feel pathetic for myself. see how down i am now.. anw, any of you reading this by accident.. care to go out with me on a sat? haha.. wadever. sis ps me.. =( and my plan for sat's ruined. =(( but im not working on sat! =) finally one thing to be happy about. hmm.. but still, would you go out with me? =) *blink blink* hee.