ruin[ed]

duno wad m i tinkin at that point of time. but i crushed this relationship of mine. izit so difficult to be in a smooth-sailing relationship? why muz i behave in such way that turns him off.. comtemplating means yes. already. i am really a bitch. thought abt my past actions made me puke. why am i controlling him? til now that he finds it irritating and obligations made to me. i really dun wana end this way. he's changed. while im still living in my little fairytale world. =( please.. He will decide whether we get to be tgt..

i gave up my God for you. im willing to change everything that needs to be change.. just to be with you..

you told me to think of the bigger picture. i did.. and u still told me to tink of my future. i really duno wad to do.......... now, we are banished to friends...... hmmm... i need time... to get used to it.

sad i may be.. i can nv be the same old me in future. drastic change...